


Loving Thomas

by YaminoTenshi202



Series: The Notecards [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: All names are used, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Big Gay Love Story, Canon - up to Putting Others First, Character Study, Explicit Sexual Content, Indulgent Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Insecure Logic | Logan Sanders, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders Tries, Multi, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Relentless Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Story Arcs, Story Arcs are named after Food, Thomas Sanders is a Thirsty Boy, everyone is together, self-care
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:07:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaminoTenshi202/pseuds/YaminoTenshi202
Summary: Just a fic of Thomas getting loved by his Sides, pure and simple.... Well, now it's Thomas loving his Sides... not so purely ;)(after "Putting Others First" - Spoilers if you haven't seen the episode)(Updated... whenever? - October 17)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Dark Creativity | Remus/Deceit/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Thomas Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Thomas Sanders/The Sides
Series: The Notecards [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1720951
Comments: 46
Kudos: 162





	1. Just an Avocado

“Do you dislike me?”

Thomas yelped and almost dropped the avocado that he had been scooping from its skin. He almost fell over as well, but he had been caught by warm, strong arms around his torso. He inhaled sharply, amazed at how it felt to be held by one of his Sides.

Janus was holding him up, chiding him playfully in the way that he was wont to do. However, Thomas could feel the emotions from the Side ripple across the secure bridge that Thomas had created with accepting the very idea of Denial. Janus was worried, relieved, and impressed with himself.

Thomas felt the need to pull away, but it was actually nice here. Janus somehow - somehow - made him feel safe, that someone was taking care of him. His body was tense with the confusion, the nervousness that built up in him.

It wasn’t a feeling of dread nor was it anxiety - it was pure excitement.

Janus pulled away, or he tried to. Thomas clasped his free hand to the arms around his waist, hunching over enough that, yes, now he did fall down. His knees absorbed the shock and he’d suffer through the pain, because the worry and subsequent relief that Thomas felt from Janus felt too much like love to resist.

Did Janus... Could Janus-?

“I’d never lie to you about that.”

Thomas sighed, mourning the avocado that he’d dropped in the furthest corner of his mind. Instead, his attention was focused on how Janus seemed to slither around him and press himself to Thomas’ side. Janus pressed his mouth to Thomas’ temple, the skin of his lips strange as one half seemed to lack lips at all and was so very, very smooth. Thomas normally felt strange around this kind of contact, both comforted and disgruntled, but this was love at every point of contact. The scales on Janus’ face were warm and slightly cool, little snowflakes of tenderness on Thomas’ cheek. As Thomas turned his head, there was a rush of heat and those unfamiliar lips landed on his.

Confusion - shock - warmth - eagerness - nervousness - excitement - heat - happiness - love - love - love love love.

Janus was sending the feeling of starvation, and Thomas could feel himself reflect that, his mouth opening to taste his way into Janus’ mouth. The silver movements of the tongue against his was intoxicating. Thomas pushed forward, Janus’ back meeting the floor with a pleasant thud to the floor and just enough suspension of disbelief that his head didn’t make the same kind of thud.

No, Janus was trembling underneath Thomas. His body gave away every motion and emotion. When Thomas moved to pull back - just a bit! - Janus followed, eager and wanting and just a tad greedy. A fear of rejection raced through their bones. Thomas pushed forward, suffocating in every bit of love that Janus had to offer.

-Thomas!-

He’d heard a voice like this before, when Remus had made his presence known to Thomas with that first murderous thought. It was Janus now, and Janus was spilling into him, a seesaw-ing motion that intensified and then-

Ecstasy.

He could mourn the avocado later.


	2. Press "F" for our Avocado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton sees them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We thank you for mourning our wonderful avocado.

He wished he hadn’t seen it, but he had. Patton had been ready to encourage Thomas and watch as Thomas would sit to watch some anime. It was an adventure classic this time, so Patton was excited for it. Joan and Talyn had also assured Thomas that there were no bloody scenes, so they were fine with that.

Patton had heard Thomas’ loud thought for some guacamole. Patton had bid good-bye to Virgil, pressing a kiss to the younger Side’s head as Virgil continued to draw and to listen to his music through his giant headphones. As he walked past the  _ other  _ Side’s room, Patton ignored the sight of the orange-gold door. He just wanted to see Thomas, to cuddle into his young man’s side and feel the joy and excitement of watching a story, just like the fantasies in his head.

Patton had begun to rise up in his usual spot in the living room, but he didn’t see Thomas. Thomas was nowhere to be seen. Patton wandered over to the counter; the utensils and other vegetables were still out. Diced tomatoes, some onion, plenty of garlic, chips that were ready to be dipped; where could Thomas be? And where was the avocado?

Then, he felt it.

\- Happiness - love - love - love love love starvation loneliness -

It was Deceit - Janus - overflowing, though not too much to affect the other Sides. Proximity could change that, but Patton couldn’t help that. He closed his eyes and began to take some calming breaths like Virgil had taught him, making his way around the wall so that he could enter the kitchen.

Why did he do that?

Thomas was on top of Janus, their mouths pressed together and the air heavy. There was a tension that Patton was familiar with, sure, but never where a Side was actually involved.

Janus’ hat had fallen off, revealing the more golden tone in his brown hair, hair that looked so much like Thomas’ own. Thomas was combing his fingers through that golden-brown hair, and heat was sparking out from Janus’ body, unseen but very real. Patton almost protested, but when Thomas pulled away from Janus’ mouth and made his way downward, Janus threw his head back, showing off his neck that had scales on the left side of it. Janus’ eyes were closed, getting even tighter to shut out the world when Thomas made a sudden movement that had Janus crying out their host’s name.

Thomas growled something under his breath, and Janus nodded, breathless and gasping. Janus reached up to his neck, the ties of his cape loosening with quick movements that Thomas whispered praise to. The hat disappeared, and so did Janus’ jacket and shirt.

A bare expanse of flesh, only interrupted by the scales that continued downward from neck to torso and possibly lower, was visible to Thomas and Patton, but Patton only watched as Thomas - the boy that he had helped guide into manhood - tasted every measure of Janus’ chest, belly, and lower abdomen, just stopping at the edge of the Side’s trousers.

Janus let out a litany that made Patton blush at its crudeness and foul language, but Thomas didn’t stop; if anything, it seemed to spark Thomas’ excitement.

The sound of fabric and the sight of said fabric being pushed down was almost dream-like. Patton was hoping that it was a dream, but there was nothing to hide from the sight of Thomas pulling down Janus’ trousers and underwear. The sight of Janus’ hips arching up against Thomas’ mouth made Patton shudder, the feeling of arousal spiking as Janus cried out for more. Thomas made loud swallowing sounds around Janus, some clear fluid smearing on Thomas’ cheek from Janus’ second cock.

Patton had never seen - or even thought of! - how different the Others could be. Janus’ body was different and strangely beautiful, Patton mused silently. Janus was almost dancing on the floor, lovely and deadly. His scales were shimmering in the fluorescent lights, every movement creating a kaleidoscope of colors, gold, green, and the deepest, richest parts of clay.

Janus let out a warning to Thomas. Thomas pulled away and cooed so softly that Patton had to hold back a whimper; this was a side to Thomas that they could see but to actually see it directed at one of them - and to one of the Others! - made Patton’s heart start to break.

“It’s okay, Janus. I’ll taste all of it, okay?”

“Fuck… Please…”

Janus didn’t last much longer, calling out Thomas’ name. Thomas’ face and hair were painted with white from Janus’ other cock. Thomas made loud swallowing sounds, pulling off of Janus with a loud pop and climbing up his Denial with hungry motions that made the Side pant and claw into Thomas’ shoulders.

“Thomas, Thomas…”

“I’ve got you, Janus… Janus, good boy…”

Thomas pressed a kiss onto Janus’ lower lip, Janus turning into the kiss with a whimper.

Patton sunk away at that, having seen enough to know that something like shame was licking at his heart.


	3. Revenge of the Avocado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Patton... chat. Also, guacamole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Avocado is now the star of this story, even in death.

Virgil had had a craving for some guacamole - Thomas was probably making some - but he stayed away, just to make sure that Thomas wouldn’t start looking into the void and trigger Remus to come up. Even though they all had a certain understanding now, Virgil did his best to not pop up if he could avoid it.

Instead, he had conjured up some without seeing what Thomas would put into his own - even if they all liked the same things - and made enough to share. He gave some to Remus and left another serving for Roman, should the Prince desire any. He left a bowl with Logan and left another in the mindscape’s kitchen for Deceit. He then took his bowl and another towards Patton’s room, a bag of chips ready to be conjured once he arrived.

As Virgil approached, he saw the door of Patton’s door open, nostalgia spilling out. Virgil felt himself pulled inward, but shame began to boil in his belly. These…

What happened to Patton?

Virgil peeked beyond the door frame, seeing Patton holding onto a pillow and murmuring to himself. He was quaking, the sound of frightened sobs coming out loud enough that Virgil could feel the sweetness of nostalgia turn melancholic with each small din.

Virgil stepped in, setting the guacamole down on a nearby dresser. (He was careful not to move the frames of their pictures of Disney World.) He resisted the melancholy well, having felt it the strongest since Thomas’ childhood. He didn’t settle down, though; his heart was aching, something that only strengthened when he gathered Patton into his arms.

There was so much shame and sadness that Virgil had to fight to hold still and just keep a good hold on Patton. Patton was shivering, tears soaking into the fabric of the pillow. He couldn’t speak with the force of his sobbing, but Virgil understood the emotions coming off of him.

Confusion - fear - heat - eagerness - guilt - wanting - heat - fear - love - guilt - scared - guilt - disappointment.

“Pop, dude, come on…”

Virgil held onto Patton as best as he could, feeling his own tears fall. He let them blur his vision, turning Patton to lay on his side. The older Side stayed curled up, not resisting as Virgil pressed hurried, hot-flash kisses to his face. Some landed on Patton’s mouth, just at the corner, but the slight contact made his feelings even brighter.

Terror - dismay - iniquity - salacity - regret - horror - desire - ardor.

Virgil pulled away, moving the pillow that Patton had in his white-knuckled grip away. Patton whimpered, reaching for Virgil instead.

Voracity - consternation - assiduity.

Virgil kissed Patton again, lost in the undertow of Patton’s heart. He could feel Patton’s door open further, almost flat against Patton’s dresser where the picture frames sat. They were flashing to images of Thomas and -

“Janus?”

Patton let out a soft wail - soft in sound, no less painful to hear. He opened his mouth, begging for something, and Virgil was only too eager to please. Patton moved so easily, Virgil leaning down to lick his way into the other Side’s mouth.

The older Side responded beautifully, moaning and pulling Virgil so that he fell on top of Patton. Virgil groaned, each emotion from Patton growing a bit more pleasant with time and attention. Guilt became embarrassment, and lust became something far more passionate. Their clothes disappeared, and with the bridged connection that was occurring between them, they took in all of each other.

They started rocking against each other, as they had done so many times before. Virgil was getting lost in the absolute love that Patton had to give, and Patton got lost in the praise and admiration that Virgil had. 

Had they looked, they would see that the picture frames had Thomas and Deceit, loving each other and losing themselves in pleasure. Whether they were Patton’s thoughts or Thomas’, no-one could ever be sure. Deceit’s face under the waves of orgasm couldn’t be denied, and neither could Patton’s or Virgil’s as they lost themselves in what they were when they were together.

Agency.


	4. A New Avocado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton welcomes you to Chapter 4 of the Avocado Arc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! My schedule was thrown off a bit by work and adult stuff (taxes, refinancing my house, mortgage payments, etc.). I will try to fix that for the next chapter :)
> 
> Got most of this done during free time at work~

Virgil was asleep again, and Patton didn't mind. With the kiss-bruises that littered his body, Patton could never bring himself to spite any of the Sides, especially Virgil, who made Patton feel strong enough to take on any challenge. For a moment, Patton could feel himself as strong as he was when he was younger, maybe even as strong as he was when Thomas had first developed him in what would one day be the Mind Palace.

Virgil let out a gentle purr, responding to Patton's innate nostalgia that filled the room. He was gentle, Virgil was, and Patton couldn't thank him enough for it. Even if Patton could be hurtful, could make Virgil into something more painful than he already could be when the Bad Feelings were even Worse; Virgil often came to Patton for comfort and reassurance that, yes, Virgil was doing a good job. It was like when Virgil had been little, when he had been Guard...

Then Guard had picked Shield to raise him... Virgil had picked Janus... over Patton.

Patton sighed, resisting the urge to keen out a croak of anguish. Virgil was here now, in his bed and so so beautiful. His extra limbs didn't detract from his beauty (and Patton had grown used to not thinking of them as Creepy-Crawly Death-Dealer legs a long time ago). He could still feel the gentle nature of Virgil's hands, arms, and fangs over his body, Patton licking away at every part of Virgil that he could reach. 

Virgil curled against him, drawn immediately to the negative emotions that Patton had felt stirring in his chest. It made Patton want to lay down again, sink down into the nostalgia that his bed was imbued with, but they couldn't stay.

They wouldn't leave if they stayed.

"Kiddo-"

"Ada?" Virgil sat up, his eyes still closed but his body mobile. He opened his arms and Patton settled into that wonderful embrace, the extra limbs holding him in a hug that said more of love than threat. "Talk to me, Ada."

"He-"

Patton hid his face in Virgil's hair, breathing in the scent of the spark before flame, the scent of a dark basement.

"Go ahead, Patton. It's okay."

"... He doesn't want me."

"Stop that."

Virgil let out a growl, nipping at Patton's neck. The mark that he had made on Patton's neck, just above the Adam's apple, was sensitive, but Patton just shivered, willing to let Virgil make the mark more apparent. Logan would have questions later, but he wouldn't be opposed to it. He'd ask to make that mark bigger, and Virgil would offer one to Logan.

"You feel that?"

Oh, yeah...

"I don't feel anything."

Patton felt the coolness of machines and scented the burn of electricity. He turned and saw Logan in the doorway, the nostalgia creeping back under the bed where it belonged. As Logan stepped in, Patton reached out, waiting for Logan to get close enough to the bed to finally pull him on.

"What's wrong?" Logan adjusted himself on the bed, moving to be by his friends' side. Patton sneezed. "Bless you."

"Thank you."

Virgil took the edge of the blanket and wiped at Patton's nose. Patton giggled; his blanket always smelt of flowers, small and just enough to comfort him.

"Patton, come on," Logan pressed, leaning close enough that Patton could feel his body heat. Patton squeezed Logan's hand, grateful for the calm that washed into him.

"Thomas... and Janus."

"What happened? Am I needed?" Logan shouldn't have looked so eager and yet completely disinterested. After this last excursion that was Lee and Mary Lee's wedding, and the argument after, Logan had confessed that he didn't want to talk about it at all. Patton could feel rejection for the slightly younger Side and knew that yes, he had hurt Logan, and they had yet to fully talk about everything.

"Um... Well, Thomas was making guacamole, and Janus showed up, I guess-"

"This is speculation?"

"-Um, there was guacamole on the counter when I popped up." Patton raised up his hand that was holding Logan's hand. He kissed the back of Logan's hand and knuckles. "I moved to go to the kitchen but... They were on the floor."

"What were they doing?"

Patton shivered, knowing that his picture frames were going back to those memories of Thomas kissing Janus, whispering his name and Thomas taking Janus into his mouth-

"That must have been... surprising." Logan cleared his throat, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

Virgil scoffed, knowing that, yes, just like Janus, all of them held some attraction for Thomas. Patton loved his host, but he felt that being something of an internal parent to Thomas would be more beneficial, especially since he started as "Care".

If the King and Guard could have worked together better, Roman and Virgil could have worked together better. Maybe Roman would have existed alongside the King and Virgil as someone else... Courage? Logan would have had a bit more fun if that had been the case.

However, now that Janus had managed it, had managed to be the first one to truly touch Thomas in the way that they all wanted on some level, what would happen?

"What if it's only for Janus? For his self-preservation?"

That wouldn't feel good, Patton thought, and Logan pressed up against him to help calm him. Patton sneezed again.

"Come on, pop-star," Virgil murmured. "We want Thomas to be happy, right?"

"Yeah... I've just... It makes sense, Janus has been here the longest. He was the first one!"

"Speaking from that perspective, Patton, that doesn't necessarily align with how Thomas cares for people. You, Janus, and I have existed together since Thomas was at least ten months. He has shown me positive emotions and regard but has shown more emotional vulnerability. If length of time is the way of measure, then Thomas would have shown attraction to both of us before Janus revealed himself." Logan let out a sigh, shifting his hand in Patton's grip.

"Thomas has grown up with an idea of 'self-love' falls in closer with that of psychologist William James. Robert H. Wozniak summarized it as being comprised of '... three different but interrelated aspects of self: the material self (all those aspects of material existence in which we feel a strong sense of ownership, our bodies, our families, our possessions), the social self (our felt social relations), and the spiritual self (our feelings of our own subjectivity)'. Thomas thinks about this possessions, his family, body, etc. However, he does hold his social relationships - especially his friends - and his own inner self as priorities.

"The discussion that we had was all about his inner goodness, his motivation to do what are perceived to be good deeds, as well as him caring for himself. It has nothing to do with time, Patton." Logan pulled Patton towards him, and Patton and Virgil both followed so that Logan could hold onto them. He was the rock in whatever emotional sea they had fallen into.

"What should I do, then?"

"Just talk to him. That would be appropriate."

Virgil shot up, but Logan put his finger on the chapped lips of his friend.

"Being honest with Thomas is better than having him worry over something that can affect the relationship that he has with us. Roman is already staying in his room more often than not, just coming out to work, and Thomas is having some trouble with his work. Even Remus is being consulted."

Virgil's eyes widened, shuddering at the fact that Remus - fucking Remus! - was the reason for the darker content that Thomas was scribbling in one of his work journals that had actually scared Thomas into having Virgil appear to comfort him. Thomas had reassured him that it was something for his videos, but he didn't delve into detail; and in good faith, Virgil had not asked.

"What happened? Why isn't Roman out more?"

Patton explained, with Logan giving some more information to make it a bit more understandable. With Patton explaining how Janus had saved Thomas from Patton's own breakdown, Virgil waited. It was amazing that Janus had introduced himself, and Virgil could feel his own anxiety begin to shiver through him; Roman had struggled not to laugh at Virgil's name when it was revealed, but Janus had indeed been laughed at.

"Wow... Princey was kind of a dick."

Patton frowned. Logan groaned, holding back the urge to correct Virgil's speech.

"You had asked us not to laugh at your name, as I recall," Logan reasoned.

"Our names are... different," Virgil explained softly, "Janus named me and Remus. I can't find the meaning of my name anywhere, and Remus literally means 'twin', like Roman is the sun and Remus is the moon just reflecting light back. Janus didn't even have a name until recently."

"When did you get your name?" Patton asked.

"... I think Thomas was in middle school?"

Years without a name; what could that have done?

"But getting my name didn't matter... I just needed to be there for Thomas. I want to be there for Thomas, and if Roman keeps doing this, where he pushes any of us away, then Thomas will suffer for it, and I won't have that."

Virgil pulled away, sighing. His body became clothed again, his extra limbs pulled back into his form.

"I'm going to check on them. If they're done or not, it doesn't matter. I just need to make sure that Thomas is okay."

"That would be best," Logan reassured, holding Patton still.

Virgil sunk out, aiming for the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ada - Virgil's dad-themed nickname for Patton - also a reference to Ada Lovelace, a pioneer in math and computers but also daughter of the poet Lord Byron and a fan of (animal) mesmerism, a theory that states that all living beings (people, plants, animals, etc) have an invisible force around them, which could be manipulated for healing (similar to Reiki therapy).
> 
> Animals are cool~
> 
> Vin - Logan's nickname for Virgil - shortened from the Latin "vincit", as in "amor vincit omnia" (love conquers all)


	5. The Last Avocado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this is what we're here for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just moved to work in a new facility, gonna be training to work there... travelling about 30 miles now instead of just 20 miles. :sigh: It's hard work, but I want this new place to succeed...
> 
> (So I typed the previous note on June 8. The new place is so... unnecessarily difficult, but a co-worker and I organized every, redid the processing and intake for patients, and are going to take our changes to management. It works better and is safer. :sigh: Thank you for reading and enjoying my writing. It really makes my day :D )

Virgil appeared in the kitchen, but no-one was there. The empty skin of an avocado sat on the counter, but most of the dishes were cleaned already. The cutting board needed cleaning. As Virgil looked around, there was nothing in the kitchen relating to Thomas and Deceit's activities. They had been gone from there for a while.

A gentle series of snores came from the living room. Virgil turned and he saw them.

Thomas was laying on top of Deceit, head resting just under the ties of Deceit's cloak. The cloak itself was long and dark, much like how it was when they were all younger. It was big enough to wrap around both serpent and Man, Thomas cradled in its fold. Deceit was sleeping, his eyes closed. It wasn't often that that would happen. Deceit was usually far too nervous to sleep with his eyes closed, open and vacant eyes watching for any possible threat.

Threats to Thomas.

Now, Deceit sleeping so peacefully; it unnerved Virgil in a way that told his body that the predator could be waiting to strike. Even with Thomas on top of him, Deceit could spring up, ready to strike.

He had never touched Thomas' hair like this before. It was terribly soft, its strands curling around Virgil's fingers.

It was softer when he was little, though. Thomas would curl against his pillow, Virgil trying to hold him the best that he could, until his host would fall asleep. On those nights, the fears were simpler - a new day at school, monsters under the bed, or something that he had seen on the television. Roman and Remus had been distant but constantly present in those days, ghosts that Virgil had to carefully guide in order for Thomas to not be too terrified to venture outside but to be cautious enough to know when to turn back.

When did his boy grow up? When did he grow up to be so beautiful?

A gloved hand came over his mouth, and Virgil immediately tried to open his mouth to bury his fangs in the offending fleshy palm. No, the Side who was the proprietor of that hand knew him too well, had taught Virgil how not to kill Thomas with his venomous panic. As Janus opened his eyes, stretching as much as he could under the lovely form of Thomas' body, Virgil caught his gaze. He knew that he was starting to breathe heavily, ready to balloon away the moment that he could scuttle away, but Janus held fast to him.

"Virge-Virgil?" Janus hardly hissed above a whisper, keeping his natural hold on Thomas and keeping his extra hands - when did Janus grab his legs and waist?! - on Virgil. "What are you doing here?"

Virgil closed his eyes and did his best to send the images that he had seen, what Patton had told him, doing his best to keep his own Anxieties out of them.

Janus blinked up at him. He looked down to Thomas, who continued to breath peacefully.

"We all love him. You know that."

Virgil growled low in his throat, the sound reverberating in his chest. He couldn't open his mouth, but he could feel his own Concern heighten. Janus glared at him as Virgil's Anxiety woke up their host.

"Mmm... Wha?" Thomas pushed up from the couch, moving forward enough to press his cheek to Janus' own. Janus shivered a bit, closing his eyes and gripping onto Thomas and Virgil more tightly. It bordered on painful for Virgil, though. "Janus?"

"Hello, Thomas." Janus closed his eyes and turned enough that Virgil could see the moment that Thomas wanted to move. Their kiss was slow, tongues only coming out to taste when danger was certainly not present, but even then the movement of taste did not proceed into a frenzy. It was sleepy, content. It made Virgil scream against Janus' hand.

Thomas jumped back, almost falling off of the couch. He spotted Virgil and his face turned red.

"Vir-Virge?!" He spotted his Side's face and body, trapped. "Janus, let him go!"

"But Thomas-"

" **Now**!"

There had been times when Thomas would be upset at them. His voice would have a quality closer to something between Logan's and Patton's voices. There was a sense of pleading but a sense of command that demanded for things to go as Thomas wished it. It didn't always sound mean; the most recent example was when he had yelled at Remus for claiming to be Creativity. It wasn't always correct, as Remus was indeed Creativity but a side of Creativity that Thomas refused to see or desire. It was a voice that made all the Sides want to give in, to surrender and make their host happy.

Janus pulled away, letting Virgil go. Virgil seized Janus from the couch, growling and hissing.

"Why?"

"I love him," Janus stated. His tone of voice carried no air of sarcasm nor taste of lie. All three of them - Thomas and Sides - could feel the Truth settle into their bones, a strange soothing sensation that left Thomas feeling cared for and left Virgil feeling hollow.

"... But you..." Virgil turned to Thomas. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, Virgil, he didn't." Thomas stood up, resting his hands on Virgil's arm. Virgil couldn't hold back the shiver at Thomas' warmth. His host had a remarkable heat that made Virgil feel a mission inside of him. His mission to protect his boy; it was all he had. He'd die for his boy. He had tried to not long ago, though no one else had known. Perhaps Janus knew, but he had never said anything.

God, why would Virgil ever try to leave Thomas? Love was spilling into his thoughts, its rancid syrup-sweetness pressing outward on his thoughts. Janus let in a sharp breath, and Virgil knew that he couldn't hide it.

"Virgil." Thomas slid one of his hands up to rest it on the back of Virgil's neck. "Hey, I've got you."

"You love Janus."

"I love all of you."

At Janus' nod, Virgil felt his body shiver more, relaxing and letting the snake go. Thomas pulled Virgil close instead, pressing a kiss to the corner of Virgil's mouth. Hunger seized the younger Side, and he carefully turned to feel all of Thomas' mouth on his.

That syrupy sweetness finally tasted sweet again, Virgil feeling energy leave his body. Did Janus bite him? (No.) Was he finally dying now that Thomas was kissing and tasting and- (No.)

"I can feel you thinking," Thomas whispered, when he pulled away. "Calm down, baby."

Virgil whimpered. Thomas' breath was against his lips. His scent, his face, the gentle flush that was spreading from his cheeks to his ears; God, every bit of love that Virgil had for Thomas was going to be the death of him.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't apologize, baby. Janus, don't make that face," Thomas chided. Virgil could feel more relaxation roll off of Janus, who - by the sound of it - sat down on the couch again.

"Well, it's not like I'm mad at Virgil or anything for how rudely we were woken up."

Thomas sighed, turning back to Virgil; what else could he say but "He's not going to hurt me, Virge. You know he won't."

Virgil closed his eyes and he gave a minute nod.

"I know..."

"Sit next to him, honey."

Virgil obeyed, sitting down next to Janus, who buried his gloved fingers in Virgil's hair at the base of the younger Side's head. There was a gentle massage that managed to relax Virgil somewhat; it was something that Janus did when Virgil was much smaller. On the nights when Virgil couldn't make Thomas feel completely safe from the Bogeyman, Janus would cover both of them in his cloak and rub their backs or tummies until they finally fell under the spell of sleep.

Janus was praising Virgil now, just as he did back then, telling him what a good job he did, was doing now-

Virgil jumped, Janus cooing in his ear. Thomas was pressing his hands on Virgil's thighs, massaging the tense muscles that started to quiver. He pressed his lips to Virgil's throat, kissing and tasting the expanse of pale skin.

"God, you taste so new..." Thomas started sucking his marks on Virgil's neck, encouraged by the fact that Virgil was shaking and moaning. Thomas pressed himself closer. Virgil's cock was already getting hard, Thomas could feel it against his abdomen where he had pressed himself so close to Virgil. "You're hard already..."

"It... You feel too good," Virgil explained. He tried to stay still as Thomas explored, those curious fingers finally mapping out everything that Virgil had to give him.

"Then how about I make you feel even better?"

"Huh?"

"I think it's a good idea, don't you?" Virgil tried to hold back his shivering as Thomas brought his thumbs to caress his Side's cheeks. He remember this kind of touch, this affection that Thomas used to give when he was younger. Whenever Virg- Whenever _**Guard**_ would watch over him at night, saving him from the rare nightmare of monsters in the closet, Thomas would say a little prayer and just touch Guard, sleepiness enabling them to touch and feel. Hugs, kisses, gentle hand holds; this is what Virgil had missed, what he resented when Thomas began to grow up. He wasn't Guard anymore. Why would Thomas love him anymore?

"T-"

"Virgil... Go ahead," Thomas whispered, bringing their faces closer and how the fuck was Virgil already able to feel Thomas' breath on his lips? "Whatever you want, I want to give you."

"Thomas," Deceit warned, but Thomas ignored him not unkindly.

"Let me do this, Virge. I want you to love me how you want to. Would that be okay?"

To say that Virgil didn't take the chance to press his lips to Thomas' own would be a damn lie. He didn't find himself starving for it, however, now that he had had a taste. He just stayed still, savoring the fact that he was kissing his reason for existing, his boy that he would protect during the night, and the boy who managed to conquer every fear that had come in their way.

He would deny that he whimpered, though.

\- Love, love, love, pride, nervousness, conquest, love, love, comfort. -

It had been so long since Virgil had felt Thomas so clearly. He hadn't felt Thomas like this since he was a teenager, remembering so many rules and little things to follow just to make sure that no one would hate them. Now it was just these emotions that came to flooded into Virgil and already had his eyes burning from the pressure. Thomas was loving him, loved him, and Virgil just-

"Anything you want, Thomas." Virgil keened softly, his mouth quickly brought to Thomas' again. Hands that had been holding his face buried themselves in his hair, Virgil holding still as to not lose that touch. Thomas wasn't letting him move back, though. No, Thomas was pulling him, pushing Virgil with the tight grip on his hair. They got caught in a kiss again, Thomas reaching for Janus' hand.

Thomas pulled away, tugging at Virgil's hoodie while he started kissing Janus, giving the solemn snake attention. Virgil obeyed, his hoodie spirited back to his room. In his shirt, he felt almost naked, but Thomas didn't let him think on it too long. Searing hot hands were making their way up under his shirt, Virgil crying out when Thomas willed the shirt away; if he wasn't so hard right now, Virgil would be expressing his pride. He would still be speechless, however, even if he wasn't hard at the way that he was left completely naked under Thomas' touch.

"Hmm," Janus muttered, "aren't you so pretty, Virgil? Maybe I should have played more with you before you left."

Virgil leaned his head on Janus' shoulders, trying to send some happiness to Janus, perhaps a bit of love too. Janus had taken such good care of him, still was, with how Janus stroked him a little bit and kissed at his neck.

"You two are beautiful. What do you want, Virgil?"

Virgil wanted to make Thomas shut up, but he wanted Thomas to touch him more.

"I..." He had the sudden image of Thomas... pleasuring him, his mouth-

Thomas looked at Virgil again for any sign that something was wrong, Thomas dove downward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just thought it was neat to end the Avocado Arc here, with Thomas showing his love to the two Sides that need his affirmation of love the most, the ones who have been his protectors since the beginning.
> 
> Cute stuff. 
> 
> Hopefully, Patton will handle it well.


	6. Who likes Smoothies?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas has fun with the Left Side of the Brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Arc 2! The Smoothie Arc shall be a bit messy but it will be a productive one :)
> 
> Mainly it will focus on Logan, Virgil, and Janus' interactions; and it will be about Thomas making all of this work.
> 
> Star of this chapter: Logan

After he had helped Patton settle into sleep, Logan decided to follow Virgil. They had always worked together well since they had their first debate with one another.

Since Deceit managed to take over Thomas' care for some of their more... morally questionable decisions, Logan had pondered over what would be the next idea that Thomas would choose to do for a video in their series. Thomas had already done a video for fundraising, which was... effectively altruistic.

Logan closed his eyes, breathing in and then sighing softly through his nose.

He had not wanted to think about how their last video had gone. He had been shut down repeatedly, in a way that had not occurred in a long time. Logan thought that he had finally gotten everyone's approval. After he had abated Remus' rather disturbing rantings upon his entry into Thomas' consciousness, Logan had thought that he had earned enough approval from his fellow Sides and Thomas - especially Thomas! - that his opinions and facts would hold greater weight. He had thought that even if Roman would tease him, as the Side was often prone to doing to show affection or his own strange sense of what appeared to be playfulness, Patton would value any input on any matter, even on something as abstract and malleable as a moral compass.

Instead, when Patton had grown more anxious at being defied (though that had not been Logan's intention), Logan had been pulled away the moment that Deceit - Janus, he corrected himself, as he recalled the strange somewhat-fight that Roman had with Janus - had provided a way for Patton maintain control of everything. Logan had fallen into strong arms that definitely held the strength of any python that he could have remembered studying with Thomas, stronger and more supportive than he could feel from his fellow Sides, aside from... Virgil, of all people!

Logan was shaking, held only by Janus' many arms. A hand came to soothe his brow, something that Logan could admit that he enjoyed after Janus held him close and assured him that he did understand what Logan meant.

"You got that quote well and right, Logan, but I think the context might have missed Patton by a fair deal." Janus let Logan relax, continuing to speak, "'The enormous social problems of today are engendered by the excessive sensitivity of modern man, not by true and deep pity for that misery', but Thomas would also misunderstand what that means. Sure, Thomas can be empathetic to a degree, but that is only because he does not understand the full weight of it."

"How did you..?"

"I'm always listening, my dear." Janus smiled. Janus... Shield had really changed since Logan saw him last. The first time that Logan had seen Janus since Logan had named himself, it was when Roman and Remus were reunited. Janus was much more patient, and he had played the long game.

"Thomas... There's no point if Thomas is sacrificed based on feeling pity for someone who is hurt in a random act or accident, in which he cannot control any circumstances. With that, it's not reasonable at all to think that Thomas is a morally bad person over something that he can control, not when it's involving someone's feelings that he does not have any measure of control over. It's hurting him."

"I agree entirely, Logan." Janus helped Logan stand. Logan looked around, and he noticed where they were.

It was their home.

"How?"

"Remus let me in after Roman let him in."

"Roman did-"

Janus placed his finger on Logan's lips, giving a strange smile that knew more than it let on.

"Thomas needs us right now."

"He does."

"May I wear your face, Logan? They don't trust me, though I cannot possibly imagine as to why."

Logan nodded. A strange impulse arose in him, scalding as Janus' scales began to disappear under the vision of Logan's clear skin. He pushed forward, and Janus' lips felt so strange and fascinating under his mouth. Flesh met pulled back skin and scales. Janus' skin shimmered, flickered under the static of illusion as Logan observed Janus go through so many emotions. Janus' eyes closed, and Logan found himself carrying the oldest Side in his arms, supporting the grounding weight that made Logan relax.

The kiss was mechanical but warm, Logan's belly fluttering as his body reacted. It wasn't that Janus reached up and began to hum gently as Logan licked his way into the serpentine mouth. Logan could taste all of it - Janus' determination, his certainty, and the perfect idea that their Thomas - Yes, _their_ Thomas - should be taken care of as well as not heartlessly generous.

What would be left of Thomas if he always gave every bit of himself away?

* * *

Logan looked now upon the scene that lay before him, spotting Thomas in the middle of all of it. He moved around, eyes taking in the scene from many angles to get all of the information that he could. He made sure not to make his presence known, as to not provide any unnecessary material or information that could ruin the image before him.

Virgil was moaning into Janus' mouth, the oldest Side holding Virgil's face with one hand and almost dragging the moans from Virgil's throat. Virgil's hands were quaking, one pulling on Janus' sleeve. Virgil had his other hand low, down between his legs.

There, Thomas knelt, his head bobbing back and forth in such a way that Logan could only akin it to the base urge to feel chemically close to someone. Even if Virgil was a part of Thomas, Thomas had been trying to understand himself so much better, to the point that he was using that inner ability to Create to access the metaphysical dimension to meet the main aspects of himself. Thomas was moaning, and Logan understood that Thomas was likely becoming sexually aroused, especially with the small choking noises that came from the man despite his eagerness to likely suffocate himself on Virgil's erection. In spite of the painful, white-knuckled grip that Virgil had on Thomas' hair, Thomas continued, audibly gulping down (again, what was likely) saliva and pre-ejaculate with such eagerness-

"Fuck, Lo-" Virgil called for Logan, because of course he would. Thomas pulled away with a soft pop that made Logan wonder how much suction he was applying to Virgil's penis.

"Logan?"

Thomas' eyes were somewhat unfocused, his mind surely wandering due to the adrenaline, serotonin, and oxytocin that was pumping through his system. His pupils were slightly dilated, his cheeks flushed, and his breathing was a bit deeper. His shoulders were definitely more relaxed.

"Yes, Thomas?"

Logan didn't know how to respond to Thomas holding out a hand to him.

"Please."

"I don't know what you're asking of me, Thomas." Logan obeyed when Thomas beckoned him close, only curious when Thomas pulled him down. The feel of Thomas' lips on his cheek, however; that did make Logan feel something. "Thomas?"

"Yeah, Logan?" Thomas' breath was hot, the feeling of piloerection crawling over Logan's skin as he shivered. Purely a physical response, and not connected to the idea that perhaps Thomas wished to engage in coital pleasure with Logan - certainly, that wasn't the case.

He could ask, thought, and he did.

Thomas nodded, pressing his nose to Logan's jaw. It was a soft gesture, Thomas carefully respecting Logan's hesitation and resistance. Logan looked up to Janus and Virgil. They nodded, Virgil petting Thomas' hair.

Logan could feel the lack of lie from Janus. Ah, Thomas had complete control over the situation, and he was merely asking if Logan would wish to engage with them.

"Perhaps... not now, Thomas."

Thomas pulled away, smirking. "What? Do you mean later?"

"I wish to consider this prospect on my own..." Logan closed his eyes, continuing to consider this only logically, pragmatically, and to ignore the weaker, baser urges that made Logan actually consider using a bit of Imagination. "However, I would like to observe this interaction between the three of you."

"What?" Virgil's pale features were flushed and lovely, a wonderful contrast to his usually defensive and insulting demeanor; now, Virgil looked lost in a tidal wave of neurotransmitters that only craved for more physical and emotional stimulation.

"Simply put, Virgil," Logan stated, reaching forward, "I wish to allow myself the opportunity to see you expressing such... sexual responses and conduct with Thomas and Janus present."

Virgil was hard in his grasp. Virgil seemed to hiss, an instinct left from his more animalistic nature, but it was fascinating. It was small, tremulous, perhaps more soothing when combined with some other surface, a leaf for a wolf spider. The trilling left Thomas smiling, Thomas kissing Virgil's knee.

Janus took a different approach, his extra arms spreading Virgil's thighs and stroking the large muscles just under his black jeans. Virgil shuddered, pre-ejaculate beading up on the tip of his glans. Virgil looked lost, loose, unaware - he was everything counter-intuitive to the idea of being Thomas' Anxiety, and it was a lovely image to behold.

"The scenario is appealing from a sensory standpoint..." Logan moved his hand more quickly; the stimulation resulted in a low moan from Virgil, his purring louder and certainly a sign of being pleasured. Janus hummed in response, his hands spreading Virgil's legs wider and his arms securing Virgil in place. Virgil couldn't move anymore, secured by Janus, and Logan only watched as serpent held spider prisoner.

"What do you want me to do, Logan?"

Logan turned his gaze to Thomas, his hand still stroking Virgil. He did not lose rhythm, did not lose pace, and Thomas sat.

"What do you want me to do?"

Logan pondered the question.

He was not meant to feel any kind of emotion. Perhaps excitement or intrigue at new information to be learnt and applied to some new problem or something in Thomas' life; pleasure at something so basic, so instinctual that intellect hardly was used - that was not meant for him.

Thomas' mouth on his shouldn't feel so wonderful. His own penis remained rather soft, not having any physical stimulation to reach full engorgement, but Thomas' small moans, the exploration that Thomas had of Logan's mouth, and Virgil finally crying out as he finally reached the threshold of some kind of pleasure - that was... Stimulating.

The ejaculate all over his hand was hot, Logan noting that Virgil's ejaculate held the strange iridescence commonly associated with automobile oils and related lubricants. Out of curiosity, he brought his hand to his mouth. It tasted somewhat salty, but it otherwise didn't perturb him from licking his hand clean. Thomas also partook in the taste, but it surely didn't make Logan shiver, the piloerection on his arms almost worse as the chilled air of the living room settled down over him.

"Did you like that, Logan?"

Janus smiled down at him, that predatory glance staring Logan down in attempt to stimulate his fear response.

"I did," Logan said honestly, tasting Virgil on Thomas' tongue again.

Yes, this was quite stimulating.

Based on all of the information, and how Thomas was rubbing little circles onto his scalp in such a soothing way, Logan would gladly do this again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The enormous social problems..." - from Nietzsche's "Genealogy of Morality" from which Thomas pulled Logan's Nietzsche quote from.
> 
> Yeah... Logan is sexual, but whether he'll admit to his soft feelings or not, that will be determined later. "Piloerection" just means "goosebumps" :)


	7. The Stuff that Smoothies are made of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Remus
> 
> Also, it would be totally cool if you looked up "Devan Shires" on Patreon.

Logan had gone back to his own room. He stared at his hand. It was completely clean - of course, they were metaphysical in form. Thomas wasn't, though. No, Thomas was physical. He was firm and had mass, a tangible presence in the Mind Palace and in the Real World. Despite the irrationality of Thomas... Thomas caring about them in sincere affection, Logan found himself pulled to the idea. Virgil had tasted sharp, that saltiness there, and that sharpness made him shiver. The memory of it - the statistics, the quality, and the quantity - made skin hypersensitive again, the piloerection of his skin coming back fully after barely fading back into smoothness.

Logan closed his eyes, sitting back into the armchair that had long stayed in the library in his realm of Thomas' mind. He knew that Thomas didn't like such soft furniture, wanting something soft and comfortable but supportive and sturdy. No, Logan held enough stiffness in how he stood and held himself when with the others and with Thomas that he wanted to sink into something that hardly existed.

Oh, he could disprove its non-existence the same way he could fall into the rules of Roman's Kingdom. In fact, Roman's Kingdom had encompassed all of Thomas' mind since the Prince had come into existence...

Well, the King, anyway, had become the one to manage them in form, not function. When Roman and Remus followed, the form did not change, something that Logan truly appreciated. The two proceeded to find their place among the Sides, even when they were being scolded by the older Sides. As the youngest two, they had often escaped Logan's hold on them, though Roman and Remus liked to press the limits of logic further. They liked to do so together, especially as they grew and when they were allowed to spend more time together.

A thought - a memory - came to him, of Roman reaching up to climb into Logan's embrace, asking question after question. There were questions of building and architecture, details implemented on a later visit upon Logan's observation of the streets, town, and castle. Roman later enriched their domain even more, looking for other things to do to make the Kingdom even better and more detailed.

It was something that Logan could understand, could follow, and all of the Sides enjoyed the Kingdom.

In his chair, Logan let his mind drift, focusing on his breathing and an audio-book beginning to play from somewhere in his room.

" _... I am comfortable. I just do not want to be. I do not have the patience to build a new world. A world with new people..._ "

"What the Hell is this?"

The audio-book continued, and a laugh answered him.

Logan sighed and stood up, scolding, "Stop your book now. I know you can hear me, Remus!"

"Yeah, but you were just sitting down and being so... boring." Remus stepped through Logan's bookcase, his smile wide and tense. The smile was quite large, skin threatening to skin against the strain brought on by Remus' cheeks. "Come on! The arson-"

"I would rather not hear about your preferred books or stories, Remus. I would like to sit and relax for a while, just to put myself at ease as Thomas gets ready for bed soon."

"Yeah, Tommy did eat dinner just now, right?" Remus chuckled to himself. "You can talk about it, Logan. It's not bad!"

Logan let the thought that perhaps Remus knew... Did Remus-

"Do I know that you and the Vestal Virgin decided to fuck around with Jay-Jay the Jet Plane and Tommy-Gun? Of course, I know, Logan!" Remus flickered in and out, growing close. Before Logan to respond, Remus was in his lap and using his tentacles to hold Logan to the chair. "I always know these kind of things, sweet-pea, and I really wanna know more about it!"

Logan felt his face flush with blood, his body growing more tense and his burning hot with the physical aspects of indignation.

"Unless there's something that Thomas doesn't want me to know about?" Remus smirked, pressing his nose to the center of Logan's forehead. He took in the scent of Logan's own insult, savoring the bloody edge of it. "I mean, it's not like having a relationship with us would be a hindrance to anything, you know... He gets to love himself in every position possible. Who would turn that down?"

"Thomas-"

"Tinker-Toy has no say in how we love him, Lollipop, but in how he receives it." Remus moved down, dragging his tongue down until he was at Logan's jaw, sucking a small hematoma at the junction of Logan's jaw and the rest of his head. "I forget sometimes that you're older than me, with how you're shivering and how you are so twitter-pated by me."

Logan closed his eyes, refusing the sensations and willing himself to be alone.

When he opened his eyes, he was back in his chair, reading Stephen Hawking. He vaguely wondered where Roman was, but the thought was whisked away by a thought similar to indifference.


	8. Shaken, Not Stirred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sides in order of age:  
> Janus  
> Virgil  
> Logan  
> Patton  
> Remus  
> Roman

Remus looked down at Roman. His baby brother was staring up to where Remus had stuck himself to the ceiling. Remus had been staying there with his Prince Charming since he had gotten in trouble with Patton, their beloved Thomas, and the parental figure that had brought Remus up to be the way that the Duke had ended up becoming, fulfilling through self-imposed prophecy.

Roman had not been the same, staying in their proper castle where their beds had been separated in their youth to be pressed together once Patton had finally allowed Thomas to recognize Remus for what he was. Relentless and Cruel, Remus was the only one that could really care for his Indulgent, Righteous brother, who was now only willing to move should Remus order him to do so.

"Let's get cleaned up, Pretty."

Roman sat up, keeping his gaze down as Remus set about to liberating his brother from his clothing. The trousers came off cleanly, the long shirt under Roman's coat now free from where it had been tucked in. The carefully constructed calves of his brother were bare once Remus got the low-heeled boots off. The hair there had left the smallest indentations on Roman's skin, the skin itself smooth where the inside of the boot had pressed so tightly. Remus pressed his lips to Roman's still-clothed left ankle, smiling when Roman gave a gentle sigh in response. He looked up to Roman's eyes and -

Mirth was there, if only for the most fleeting of seconds.

"My Pretty, my gem."

Roman looked away, his cheeks only the pallor of illness. Remus came forward, pressing his lips to the smooth, sickly skin of Roman's ankle. He could feel the most gentle throbbing of veins under his lips, and Roman finally made a noise. No, his Roman hadn't made a noise while they were here together - alone - in a while. Not since he had come crying to Remus had Roman dared to make any sign that his emotions were truly under the surface of his skin, his masked eyes, and his pantomime smile.

It was soft, only a small gasp, but it was enough for Remus to look up and see a small spark of life in Roman's rose-red eyes. Remus could feel his own energy swirling in his chest, and he kissed up the length of Roman's left leg, up the still-clothed torso, and he brought his lips to Roman's slightly opened mouth. Roman was quivering underneath his affections, the edges of him blurring with the speed of Roman's shaking. Remus made to pull away, not really wanting to see Roman break like when he had first sought Remus' comforts, but Roman would not allow it.

No, the blurry mess that was the Prince pulled Remus down, the two landing on the soft mattress and downy duvet. Remus could feel his tentacles reaching around, trying to grasp onto something. Roman was holding him, cherishing him, the little brother that he'd been apart from for so long - and Remus was trying so hard to hold back, especially as his own edges began to disappear.

They were moaning, melting, and Roman began to whisper how long they had longed for Remus, to desperately fight for Thomas' happiness to the point of almost wishing his brother away. Remus answered back, groaning as the warmth inside of his little brother made him spill into and over and away, that he wanted to tear into his brother's body, wanting everything to be just how Roman and Thomas wanted it. He wanted Thomas' smile, his cock, his warmth, his horror... and Roman could offer all of it, because he was of Dreams themselves.

* * *

Remus had been hiding under Roman's bed when Roman had come back from spending time with Thomas. The wedding had come and gone, and Remus now wanted Roman's attention. Virgil had been fun to play with; he was delicious and novel every time that Remus was allowed to play and taste the older Side, and Virgil never failed in making Remus lose himself in orgasm whenever they did decide to have any sensual fun. No, Remus wanted his little brother immediately upon arrival back home, but Roman kissed his forehead and bid him adieu, as "our beloved King needs me!"

Remus had frowned at that; Thomas was hardly a King, but he was the object of Remus' eternal affection aside from Roman. Roman was Remus' missing piece, but Thomas was the reason for Remus existing in the first place. Remus could remember the moment when Roman split away, the moment when Remus had decided that perhaps he could love Thomas from far away. Here, though, with Roman again, Remus never wanted to be put away again, didn't want to be taken from Roman.

The door to their room in the conscious part of Thomas' mind slammed open, louder than Remus had come to expect from his Prince. Remus extended out a thin, flexible optic nerve, his pupil taking in the sight of his brother wiping at his own eyes.

Remus jumped out, quickly tending to Roman. He examined his Prince for wounds, for lacerations, for bruises! There was nothing there, but Remus knew that there had to be something. He begged Roman for information, but with every word, Roman sank further away inside of himself until Remus had his hands deep in Roman's chest and Roman had already made his lungs and heart still. Roman glared down at his older brother, tears welling up again, and Remus gasped as Roman's mind opened up to him.

Oh, Roman had been hurting, and for so long. Janus had set himself up to win, had locked them in a nebulous box of doubt that only Janus could manipulate. Remus had been a pawn, and Roman had been the killed King. Queen Janus finally took over the chessboard, smiting Roman with only a few words.

[I wouldn't know who the evil twin is.]

* * *

"He shouldn't have said that to you."

"..."

"Janus thinks that just because he's the oldest of us, he is the most important Side," Remus cooed, pressing more kisses to the underside of Roman's jaw and murmuring, "but we were made together. We're here so that Thomas can know everything about himself, his capabilities, and everything that he chooses not to be. Why would he want to be me if he has you?"

Roman pulled on Remus' shoulders, staring into gangrenous eyes. Roman shook his head and pressed forward, licking his way into Remus' mouth and choking the only one that could make him breathe so freely.

"Roro..." Remus pressed himself to Roman when their kiss finally broke, hushing his little brother who gazed up at him with curious eyes.

\- Inquisition. Desire. Curiosity. Searching. Persuasion. -

"I don't know if I want to talk about it."

\- Incredulity. -

Remus bit at the inside of his lips, letting the wires between them connect. He knew it could hurt Roman, but there were no lies between them. Never.

Roman's eyes gazed far ahead, lost in something that Remus had only picked up by observation himself. Remus could feel Roman gaze at every kiss, Thomas' mouth against Janus' thin lips. They recounted every caress, every bite, every bruise, and when Thomas came forward to taste Janus, then Virgil, and even pull Logan under the sweet delight of passion-

Remus groaned as Roman pushed into him roughly, greedy and receptive. It never hurt, not in a way that Remus disliked, and Remus took all of that pain that Roman felt, pressing pleasure back until they both got lost in it again.


	9. How Smooth is a Smoothie?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Wonder involves] the motions of the animal spirits through the brain and into the muscles, thereby fixing an “impression” of the object in the brain. And that explains the function of wonder: to “learn and retain in our memory things of which we were previously ignorant." - https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/emotions-17th18th/LD2Descartes.html - Descartes on the Emotions
> 
> Don't know where this chapter came from in my brain, but angst I guess.
> 
> ANGST!

Janus excused himself once his Thomas had been soothed. Virgil had clung to Thomas, and Janus found himself only as inhibiting the closeness that both needed at the moment. He sunk down into the Mind, not feeling any discontent from Logan. If anything, he felt more from Patton than either form of Creativity. That should have worried him, but Janus would be remiss should he not care for the very sense of purpose and moral duty that had fathered his Thomas into a marvelous youth and young man. There was nothing he hated being thought of as more than negligent.

Now that he was back into the realm of Thomas' mind, Janus could feel the undertow of an afterglow settling in. Things were getting calmer, loving, and so soft. The floor was practically giving in under Janus' feet, but it supported him still, movements light and airy.

He knocked on Patton's door, waiting for his opposition. Patton likely sensed that pleasure, the effects of passion that beloved Thomas had indulged in. Janus readied himself for a scolding, but he didn't expect for the door to be thrown open and for Patton to jump into his arms.

Patton was muttering something that Janus didn't fully comprehend. A wash of feelings came through him, something that he had been accustomed to since before his Thomas was himself, but these were feelings that he wasn't quite ready for, not with such a fresh, brilliant memory of his Thomas on his mind. A geyser of guilt pushed upward, and Janus could feel Patton pressing against his memory curiously. The sublimity of the younger Side, one who had power to override Instinct itself, was enthralling, as Janus sunk into his own room with Patton in tow.

"What were you doing? What were you doing?"

The words were clearer now, Patton's words only sobs that made Janus shiver with a fright that he did not want to acknowledge. No, Patton was guilt-ridden, and Janus could only fall under that emotion that he and Patton were so entranced by, the Wonder of it all.

"Talk to me."

"You... Thomas was-"

"You saw."

"Why did you do it?"

* * *

Thomas fell asleep. Surely he did.

It was nice here, being in this weird dream-world where he wasn't quite awake in it. It wasn't a lucid dream, not really, but he was watching everything. His blurry vision came upon Roman and Remus. The two were sitting on the ground, the dirt around them hardly left bare by grass or some kind of flower. There was dust on their boots.

[Hi, guys.]

Remus sat up and smiled, waving Thomas over. Thomas came close, resting himself in Remus' open, gentle hands. Remus tapped his nose lightly, a sensation that tickled his face. Thomas looked over to Roman, who stayed resting with his head on Remus' shoulder.

It looked like his eyes were swollen, red and sensitive. Of course, Thomas had hurt him in a way that he and Janus were had mentioned before... Before they had- Well, Thomas didn't know how to address this part of himself. Roman was every dream that he could ever want, and every ideal that he had thought would be his dream before Thomas realized that so much of that had been influenced by Patton. Thomas wanted praise and love, a judgement from other people, and if he didn't get it...

[Hi, Roman.]

The Prince lifted his gaze from the spot of the sunset that he had been staring at. Roman looked tired... He looked like he had cleaned himself up, showered and the like, but there was a spark missing.

"Thomas?"

[Oh, Roman...] Roman looked like he wanted to reach out, but he appeared more like a moth. His wings were pulled back, afraid but drawn to Thomas. When Remus reached out, nails piercing Roman's hands, Thomas wanted to scream, but Roman only looked desperate. Thomas could feel the blood welling up into Roman's palms, but Roman pulled him close.

"I'm so sorry... I should have just-"

[It's not your fault, Roman. It's not!] Thomas felt the swell of guilt build inside of him, the words tumbling and shattering onto the ground. Remus began to gather those shards once they grew to numerous, placing them in his mouth and chowing down. Thomas' apologies were nothing to scoff at, but Remus holding Roman's shoulder and assuring him that Thomas was being honest seemed more effective.

An ugly truth and a beautiful lie.

Thomas would have laughed if he didn't feel so ashamed for not realizing that both of those were a part of him.


End file.
